Friday, June 19, 2009

Sailor soup


Well, since at college I have very little money to buy the food in which I would desire. I don't have everything anymore. Its not fun. Whats even worse is that I can not make my creation that has become known as 'Sailor Soup'. Here is a short bio for this creation of yummy-ness.

Origin: 186 Walnut st. Woodland, CA 95695 at about 5 PM during early December 2008.

History: Once while I was sick I had a large desire and burning in my stomach for vegetable soup. But Judy was not home to make it at the time so I had to attempt to make it. I started out with 2 cans of sliced tomatoes, 2 cubes of vegetable boyan with enough water to boil a chopped zucchini, half an onion, carrots and some other things which I can not remember. As it boiled, I added various pastas and seasonings. As it cooled down and was acceptable to eat, I did. It was orgasmically tasty.

I then started to make it with other ingredients but still revolved it around the onions, pasta and tomatoes. As it progressed, I started to make it later and later, even when it was about 11 PM I would start to make it for the drunken people in the house at the time. They loved it. As nights came and pass the demand for the soup that was more highly addicting than the drugs and alcohol which were passed around and consumed outside. One night the statement was made by Billy that "We are all like sailors, and you are the chef who just throws s*%t in a pot and makes it taste good. Dude, its like 'Sailor Soup'. DUDE! It is f*%&$#g Sailor Soup!" The name stayed.

Sailor soup is one of the most coveted things to ever go into the house. When finished, the pot is dry with in 10 minutes after the announcement. But as I left for college, so did the knowledge of how to make the soup. As to this day, it has been over 2 months since anyone has made Sailor Soup. I decided to try to create a new recipe for the food that is needed for Sailor Soup. But the necessary atmosphere is far from present. What else is need is as fallows.

1: Hookah
2: More than one musician partaking of the food
3: Conversation
4: Random guitar 'noodling'
5: Laughing
6: Middle of the night (the most important part to make the soup itself properly)
(optional)
Loud girls laughing

The new attempt at sailor soup has failed due to the lack of all but one need for the right environment to enjoy Sailor Soup. To properly make sailor soup you must be trained by a master 'Sailor Chef'. You must be willing to devote your life to know and hold the secrets of Sailor Soup. To know the knowledge is to be fully faithful to the soup and ingredients. I am, at the moment, the only person in this world who knows all the secrets of the soup. This knowledge was given to me through serious prayer and fasting for the knowledge for the worlds greatest soup. It has been given. Sailor Soup will be made again once I return home. Do not fret Billy. You will have your fix soon enough.

May god protect your souls after reading this. The fact I'm uttering these words through a blog may in fact curse the soup. I have not been commanded to tell any of the necessities for the soup. But nor have I been told not to. What I have given to you should be held as high as the words of the wisest man to ever walk this earth. 

1 comment:

~Stappsters~ said...

very interesting blog Ryan. How was the blessing?